Well, another year down. Not too sure what to write, just feel the urge to, even though it’s 2:34 and I’m exhausted. This year sucked, and if you know me you know why, and I’m here to put it in writing, if 2007 is as awful as 2004, 2005, and 2006, this is the final New years Day post I’ll be putting up, because I’ll have killed myself.

I used to love New Years, a good reason to stay up, everyone makes a big deal…now I hate it. I’m kinda nervous that it’s not going to get easier for me. Everyone says the first year is tough, but after the 2nd year it gets easier. Yeah, that’s not quite working out for me. I’m able to not have missing Bobby on my mind every single day, I still think about him, but it’s easier, I still cry, but it’s easier to not focus on how he’s really gone all the time, but as soon as I think about it, it’s like it was yesterday. Christmas was hard, and tonight was brutal, I was able to fight it and think of it as “New Years Eve” for most of the night, but just like last year, and the year before that, as the countdown starts I lose it, it’s not New Years Eve, it’s Bobby’s birthday, and I can’t call him to wish him a happy birthday like I did for many years before. Now I get to go to the cemetery and let me tell you, that’s not the same fucking thing, doesn’t make anything even remotely easier.

I hate this, and I’m just babbling now, but I really miss Bobby, and as for every other year, hell, day, I pray that he’s happy up there, and able to look over us.

Blah, this post sucks, but I’m exhausted, and I don’t know what to write besides “I miss you Bobby” so f it. I’m done.