Christmas Roundup
Dear Bobby, Another Christmas without you.
It’s been tough. For most of the day I’ve been able to keep it out of my mind, but visiting your grave site tonight really brought me back. I wish you were here today…and every day to see how awesome your beautiful daughter has turned out. And I’m not going to lie, I got a lot of great gifts today, but I didn’t get the one thing I’d be willing to trade them all for; a single $20 bill from you…like we’ve always done. Of course I had a $20 in my wallet that you would have gotten in return, in our typical fashion.
Madison was awesome this entire day, she had an idea what was going on, helped unwrap gifts and was simply precious. I got her a talking Elmo doll that uploads her name, birthday, favorite colors, all of that stuff into it, and uses that when talking, I got her some clothes, and an entertaining dinosaur toy that I really can’t describe. She got a ridiculous amount of stuff…really as everyone did. I missed you at breakfast this morning, I just know you could have been there, and gotten along with everyone, but of course we had to waste the way too short amount of years together with you fighting with someone, I just know it’d be different this time, and we’ll never get it. I just know you’d have been there with all of us at Mom and Dad’s, we know things wouldn’t have been perfect, but I’m positive in my heart things would have been different, and we all would have gotten along like the old days. It pains me to say “The Old Days” when really it just means “a few years before we lost you” but there’s gotta be a reason. Over a year and 2 months later and I still can’t really face that you’re gone, and that’ll just be further emphasized come New Years when you’d be turning 24 with us, and you’ll only be turning 23 in spirit with us. I don’t think New Years will ever be the same ever again, without ever getting a call or to call you right after 12 and wish you a Happy Birthday.
But I still have another week before that heartache. I miss you Bobby. I don’t know what happens after death, but I pray you can watch over us all, and see how much we miss you. And I hope you’re spending Christmas with some folks that make you happy.
Merry Christmas Bobby. Rest In Peace my friend. I love you. Love, Jeremy
January 28th, 2006 at 7:49 pm
Dear Jeremy,
I love your website. You are a great writer and so honest. You are certainly not ugly, although that’s a prevailing theme that you should abandon. Your niece needs an uncle, and that is you. Somehow that’s the plan. You are going to be great. I am so sorry about your brother, but I feel your courage, and I know you are going to be fine and have an extraordinary life.
b
January 28th, 2006 at 8:24 pm
Thank you for the comments, a while ago, just about a year and 3 months ago, this thing changed from a forum for me to write stuff i’m interested in, into a forum for me to kinda vent about my brother. I appreciate you reading and the comments, and yeah, self deprication is quite a common theme in my shit, but I dunno i’m working on that. Well, again, thanks for the comments and for reading.